Wildflowers
by tigerstripedcat
Summary: Principles for success are always arbitrary. What really is in common are proverbial mountains of almost-haves, nearly-theres, disasters, and growth. Finding yourself can happen at any age, and making something of it, too. Based on the start of Shippuden, chapters are snapshots of what-could-have-beens for the medic-in-training Sakura and the almost-alive-again Kakashi.
1. 1: Curiosity

**Author's Note:**

This fanfiction was created after a lewd, inspiring doujinshi. This is my first fanfiction, and has not been beta-read. Be gentle, and if you have any recommendations/suggestions, feel free.

If you're here, I am sure you're aware that this is a Kakashi and Sakura fanfic. Yes, there is an age gap. No, I'm not messing with it. Yes, Sakura gets together with Sasuke in the end. No, I don't really care. If you're here to get your first spin for a lesser known couple, I hope I leave a good impression.

You also understand that it is rated M. Given that you're here for the lewds, I figure there won't be too judgmental readers out there - remember, no kink shame, or you don't get creative ideas.

Enjoy.

* * *

When Sakura first considered Kakashi, it had been a twist of imagination. A black magic curiosity.

* * *

She leaned on the window as inspective eyes peeked below. Autumn speckled the village with brilliant bronzes, reds, and golds. Huddled villagers walked the earthen paths as leaves danced at their feet. For a brief moment, Sakura wondered what each villager was doing with their day today. Where was Ino? Where was Lee? Where was Tenten? Where are all these strangers going, today?

She rolled her tongue around her cheek, tearing her eyes away from the window and to her desk. Memos, notations, documentation, taunted her with a judgmental presence for shirking her work. She was at the last stretch of toil before it was ready for clinical trials. The project had her worked to the bone for months, and for whatever reason, today she felt the full weight of the fatigue.

The Fifth had approved several medical theses during her study and training. It was her way of returning the favor for the mentorship. She had taken the task very seriously: her industriousness was her only security that there wouldn't be room for too many failures. Her eyes moved through the topography of information. She chewed her lip begrudgingly, then glided back to her desk. Procrastination wasn't part of her character, and she wasn't going to start now.

In everyday life, Sakura's weekdays and weekends had no meaning anymore. Time was measured through to-do lists and accomplishment. Where the chasm of Sasuke left her bereft, the commitment to keep her mind busy replaced it. In her stubbornness that even rivaled Naruto, she fulfilled her own monumental task without a skip of the beat. Medicine had now become her beloved, both for the sake of her career and sanity.

The minutes flew as she systematized her findings in a binder. She sipped her tea, neatly uncluttering esoteric essays and factual text in piles of "explore later", sifting into the binder, or "return to the library." Papers of chakra transfusions, blood transfusions, shared memory and experimental psychology tickled as distractions to Sakura's mind. Much of these excerpts were still in their theoretical stages which left her all too excited to explore more. Every few papers, she would snatch another post-it and write something, "explore later," "find a volunteer," or "fill in the gap of research."

As Sakura finished up the last of the rogue tomes of her maelstrom of medical knowledge, she could make out a few words of Tsunade. The silence would shatter with a frustrated shout. Sakura sipped her tea calmly and wondered what mission had gone awry this time.

* * *

There were a lot of perks working in the Hokage office.

Direct access to the Fifth Hokage the ruling benefit. The ease of access for clearing up a misunderstanding of text, patient advice, or availability for emergencies allowed Sakura to spend much time with one of the legendary sannin. There was the renowned library. Bookcases of coveted secrets towered like ancient trees, packed full of forbidden scrolls and old books. Having this grove of knowledge at her fingertips was humbling.

Yet, despite these advantages, the simpler things were what Sakura treasured most. She had a sense of community in a team where she could grow. Her mentor was both like a sister and a friend. Over time, between the thousands of pages she consumed, hundreds of medical practices she attempted, the exhausting late nighters, she was creating something magnificent. Where there had been nothing but an ambiguous shell built on other's opinions, an identity was being formed. A daydream of meeting Sasuke fluttered butterflies in her stomach. How would he look at her, finally having caught up to him?

Another footnote, another scribble. Sakura picked up her cup of rose tea only to find it empty. She finished her notation only to get up and see her teapot just as empty. Stiff limbs and waning sunlight gave Sakura an indication how much time had passed since she last stood up. She knew she needed to wrap up soon. She was trying to make it a habit of leaving before Tsunade. It disrespectful to be working longer and harder hours than the Hokage herself.

She headed down the empty hallway as an uneasy feeling stirred from the silence. As she entered the communal kitchen, her mind buzzed on autopilot. In these small moments where she wasn't suffocating her thoughts with knowledge or distraction, lurking daydreams of Sasuke re-surfaced.

They emerged like whimsical leaves stirring unseen then taking flight by the wind. Twirling through the sky, her thoughts drifted with them. Far away they descended down, their rough edges brushing up against coarse black hair. His expression was its usual subdued resentment. She could feel the coldness of a secluded cave, its condescension dripping into a chilled stream. Darkness that would feel heavier than normal, flickers of torchlight, a cold voice guiding an angrier, calmer one. Predatory eyes gleaming over campfire dinners, muscle moving with predatory rhythm. The air always held a coppery smell, a lingering odor of human blood in the air.

Her mind stopped as her heart quickened. Subconsciously she blocked out the emotional anxiety. She didn't want to go down that road; she didn't want to think Sasuke was following too closely in his footsteps. Her mental defenses caused the thoughts to recoil, and the wind turned to another direction. They floated southward to settle on the top of sunshine color.

Puffs of warm fog danced from chapped lips. Ringing laughter soon followed after, a melodic sheer in the crisp air. This wonder was far more pleasant. Sakura imagined playful shouts in aged baritone and crackling adolescence. How the trailing smell of noodle broth would scent the blaze of orange. The two fit well together in her picture; both matching in wild passions and unbridled personalities. They would contend with their extremes day and night, only breaks being a sprinkle of romantic advice, laid thick with confidence and flavored with sake. There would be silly faces and nightly frog choruses. She hoped he was having the time of his life.

The whistle of the teapot brought Sakura back home to Konoha. With the more significant part of Team 7 at large, Sakura's world seemed much smaller than it used to be.

* * *

The workday had reached its end. Having cleared her own desk for tomorrow's next stages, she gathered remaining texts and tenderly picked up another cup of tea. As a last duty, she intended to stop by Tsunade's as a simple house call. She steadied the teacup in her hand and made her way down the hall.

She knocked on the heavy door. To her curiosity, Shizune didn't answer. She knocked again, louder, and Tsunade's soused voice spoke up from beyond the wood, "What is it now?"

"Lady Hokage," Sakura spoke clearly, used to her usual brunt greeting during these days. "I'm here to drop some tea off, and see if you need any books returned to the archive."

"Oh, Sakura," she said with lazy familiarity, "come right on in."

She opened the door and found unsurprising evidence of Tsunade's crusade. Glass warriors sacrificed in the name of Konoha's future, many of them beholding Tsunade's favorite label. It had been a long-waged war to finish paperwork before dispatch. Sakura maneuvered her way around and placed a porcelain cup on the only bare spot in the study. The office was a mess: it went double for the paper disaster that was Tsunade's desk. Tsunade leaned back on her chair. Her blonde pigtails hung over the top rail, and her neck was cradled with plush padding. The wood creaking showed its stress as she bored holes into the ceiling.

"Are there any books you need me to return?"

Tsunade groaned and leaned further back in her chair. "Probably," she resisted an exasperated tone, closing her eyes. "I didn't even get a chance to check. If it's not this endless goddamn bureaucratic nonsense, it's persistent interruptions from the villagers."

There was a heavy lull, as always, whenever Tsunade mentioned disruptive visitations. Without the antics of Naruto, the visitations had less levity these days. Much of them reduced to nagging politics, formal finalizations or opening forum with elders. Tsunade was not one who had the rigidity of discipline on her side, and with all business and no fun, she found herself consistently on edge.

"That's all right," Sakura said formally. "I can come by tomorrow before briefings."

"Sakura," Tsunade propped herself back up in her chair, leaning into the tops of her folded hands. The swivel chair gave a sigh of relief. "I do need some assistance. Most of the clerical staff is out for the day. And I need," she paused, lowering down before shuffling and bringing out a fresh bottle of plum wine. "Someone to help me clear through this, so I can drag myself through the last round of this bullshit."

Sakura hesitated a response. She reminded herself of her checklist for tomorrow's trials, and putting in her open slotted time for field missions, and—

"You're probably ahead of schedule, again," Tsunade answered. "You're not Team 7 anymore, Sakura."

Sakura gave a soft smile. She enjoyed every moment of praise but was too shy to accept it boldfaced.

"Probably," she agreed with a chuckle.

"Then grab a seat, sit down. If I see any more clauses, articles of law, or contracts, I'm going to yank out my hair."

She slid a drawer open and flipped two sake cups up. She unscrewed the wine bottle with practiced finesse. The smell of sweet plums tingled in the air.

Tsunade was always an open-minded mentor. She operated within reasonable rules and expectations. In short, Tsunade only had two rules: do what she asked, with excellence. Second, do what was right by your own moral code. Everything else was flexible, including offering alcohol without the law's permission.

Tsunade passed a cup of plum wine.

"What a day," Tsunade drunkenly huffed, waving her hand at the unruly mound of white. "To think this is someone's dream. These kids see the face of the Hokage and think it's a bunch of commanding words and sitting in this pretentious building. Little do they know." She finished her cup and poured another.

"But every decision you make here," Sakura said carefully, but with respect, "is reflected immediately every day in the village." She took a few gulps of her own; this was much easier to stomach than some of the harder sake Tsunade offered her.

"I wish I had time to even see that," Tsunade snarked, lacing the words with a stressed out, biting laugh. "Ah, a privilege a 'crunch' Hokage can't afford."

Sakura nursed her drink. Tsunade glanced over at her disciple, noticing her quieter than usual. "Thinking about them again today?"

Sakura looked up at Tsunade and gave a half-hearted smile. "Yeah, meddling thoughts now, really." She drank a lot more upon the admittance. She offered the empty cup to Tsunade, who obliged her with a refill.

Tsunade waited patiently for Sakura to open up. She preferred to let her volunteer the information rather than maternally interrogate.

After a period of silence, Sakura spoke, her thoughts gathered. "Each and every time I think about him," she said, pulling away from her sensei's warm champagne eyes, "a part of me isn't quite in love. It's strange to think that things have turned out the way they have. I was in love with him for as long as I could remember. Now, he's not someone I can imagine respecting, let alone loving, at all. Even with his confusion, and even painful background, I feel a boundary was crossed that can't be undone. Yet, I don't want to let go. I don't know what to do with all this."

Tsunade remained silent, knowing there was still more to come. She swigged from the cup and filled it again.

"So there's a part of me still holding onto a future. The louder part knows the real truth," Sakura said plainly.

Sakura looked at Tsunade's smile but didn't return it. She looked helpless sitting there, finishing her second round of plum wine. "I came here to become better because I wanted to help my village, my teammates, be a better kunoichi. It's not that that isn't true - I do want to do those things. But those are just the cover stories. I came here to be someone worthy of a genius like him. I can use cover stories on others, but I can't use it on myself."

Tsunade let the sentence remain, and then urged, "And?"

"Love has been my biggest drive. I haven't lost my dedication, but he was such a large part of my dream. There's a void where love used to live and I don't know what to fill it with."

"Ah," Tsunade halted her drinking, pacing herself because she needed any scrape of awareness she had. This was a crossroad. She had seen enough in her own life to recognize it.

The Hokage pursed her lips and her own eyes floated at the lacquer of her desk. She felt responsible for imparting wisdom, especially having been in this position herself. "Well, Sakura, do you want to love someone like that again?"

"I don't know."

Tsunade lounged in the thick of the question. Her drunk mind realized asking a 16-year-old about true love was a bit too philosophical given the lack of context. Instead, she decided to retell her own experience, and lend Sakura some frame of reference to give some direction. When she spoke, she noticed that the silence had gone on too long, and Sakura seemed tense. "When Dan died," she started, "I did not love anyone else. Because I couldn't see myself loving anyone else."

Sakura soaked in the words, letting them slip in between the intrusive thoughts. The tenseness that had stiffened her limbs started to melt. The wine was working its charm, loosening things tightly held in her body and subconscious. She could feel herself a little lighter, and that was a grateful feeling. She had felt so rigid and heavy earlier.

"There were times when I got close," Tsunade admitted. "There were plenty of times that I found myself in a moment that I shared with Dan. I could hear myself saying, 'Do I dare?'"

Tsunade's usual attentive eyes did not focus. They moved from the desk to the orange rays that were now pooling into her office. She lingered on those rays, then turned to her side. Her profile was outlined in a deep tangerine glow. She seemed ethereal in that moment: somber, wise, and older. Even though she didn't look it, Sakura could feel Tsunade's age. Amber eyes stared into the sunset colored space, lost in her own emotional memory.

"In the end, I didn't. I thought that by loving another man, I was being disrespectful to his memory. Did I really love Dan, if I could so easily love another just as much? Would I be desecrating a dream of ours by building it with someone else? It felt like infidelity, even though Dan passed away long ago."

It was Sakura's turn to help urge the rest out of Tsunade. "Did that mean you didn't want a love like that after losing him?"

Tsunade's response was quick and uncharacteristically empty of snark flippancy. "No, it didn't. The truth was I did want to love someone, even if it wasn't Dan. I was confused with honoring a memory and allowing myself happiness. I'm sure Dan would have wanted it."

Tsunade shifted in her chair, coming out of the fog of her own memories. Her eyes peeled away from the setting sun and back into Sakura's enrapt eyes. "There were plenty of times I could have, Sakura. I did not. The years passed and I found myself in the next phase of my life. I had missed out on something I realized too late I wanted to be a part of. It was all due to an inability to answer a simple question at the right time."

Sakura could feel a deep emotion in Tsunade's voice. She tried to place it. It wasn't the alcohol; it wasn't work fatigue; it wasn't regret. It felt like sincerity, a graceful acceptance of all that had passed and what it had made of her.

"I could have had a family by now," she reflected, the natural buoyancy of sarcasm in her voice returning. "I could have been a real grandma Tsunade.

"These are things I can't change. I've dealt my cards. I can't say I made informed decisions, but that's due to the conflict of my time. It was hard to think about things like that with a war on the horizon. Although, Dan looked handsome in his militant vest," Tsunade chuckled at her own sly comment. She swigged another full cup of plum wine empty, then refilled.

"Who was thinking about raising families, falling in love, having peaceful futures? Most of us prayed we would survive the war. You have it different, and you can really address that question. Uncertainty is fine for a time. Eventually, you need to make a decision or time…will make it for you."

Tsunade finished her cup and offered Sakura the bottle again. Sakura finished hers, uncertain how many she had by now. The night was falling, and the sunset performed its finale with watercolor fury. The view was breathtaking from the back window of the Hokage office.

"I think I understand," Sakura replied. "If that's the case, where do you start trying to fall in love again?"

Tsunade snorted a laugh. The heaviness of the conversation faded to their usual jovial tone. "You don't go looking for it, you silly kunoichi. If you look for it, you won't find it."

Sakura puffed, now annoyed by the cryptic answer. "That's amazingly unhelpful." Tsunade's smile went to a full-blown grin.

"Any boys you find attractive would be good starters for fielding candidates," Tsunade joked. She hoisted her legs on the desk like a footrest. The weighted shift caused the swivel chair to whine, and Tsunade leaned back hands cradling the back of her head. Hokage Building After Hours was now "open."

"Do you find yourself lingering on looking at a guy a little longer than usual? Do you find yourself consciously or unconsciously touching any particular one at any given time?"

Sakura scrunched her nose. "Are you trying to get gossip out of me?" Tsunade started to full throaty laugh.

"No," she wiped her eyes, full of brazen, champagne mirth. "I promise I'm trying to help you."

Sakura took in her a long moment and thought. "No," she said with dismay.

In the spirit of delicious, vintage plum wine, jumbled cognitive synpases mingled with repressed thoughts. Dislodged memories tumbled out of her leaving a trail of moments, all mounting together as an underlying attraction. She was 12, and it was someone much older than her. Through the years she dismissed the feeling to be the older brother type; albeit, her own reactions seemed to indicate she enjoyed the attention. She would convince herself it was because of friendship, or the praise of a teacher.

She remembered each time he touched her. Each time he protected her. There was a gentleness in his motions that often betrayed his apathetic caricature. His sarcasm invited playful banter and often spiced humor in more bleak situations. In the deep of who he was, there was a tenderness that seemed distant and restrained. The glimpses of this part of his personality were hard to catch, especially with the quarrelsome duo that was Naruto and Sasuke.

It was this quality, the quiet tenderness, that Naruto lacked for her attraction. To her chagrin, it was also the imagined idealization of Sasuke. Sasuke's cold, controlled exterior held no warm, loving interior deep within. The warmth she would often mistake for affection, typically was the flickering of bottled rage. If Sasuke had an affectionate side, it was fragmented and far from generous. Affection from him felt more like pleasing himself than pleasing a partner.

She broke the inner monologue to finally answer. "No one I touch, at least."

Tsunade arched both eyebrows. The on and off grin turned into a full-time catlike curvature of lips. "Oh ho? Sakura?"

Sakura contemplated how to disclose this. Would it be incriminating to admit you had intrusive thoughts of your teacher, the only influential figure that showed you any respect? How in the times she desperately desired, loved, and tried for Sasuke, he was in the background to pick her back up from rejection? Or, in some cases, bat down Naruto's over-enthused, loud, and forceful flirtations. As puberty slammed mood bending hormones in her system, she found herself dubious of her judgment. Was this attraction or just appreciation for being treated fairly?

"There is someone, but I didn't consider him at first," she confessed. "I was…a little too involved with Sasuke. He was always there, though. Every time, when he could, he was."

Tsunade immediately ruled out Naruto on her tone alone.

"I was very young then," she conceded. "And he…much older."

There was a long pause between the two.

Tsunade rocked her chair, its wooden squeals a welcome humor to the situation. The wine bottle empty, amplifying the fading sunlight in its glass shape. She drummed interlaced fingers, dancing in rivulets of molten gold that was her hair in the twilight. A habit she picked up when thinking deeply.

Tsunade was contemplating the pros and cons how to advise this; encourage it, not knowing how much older? Or air caution?

She was already offering the scrappy teenager some prime alcohol. Sakura was beautiful and, gods be damned, the world traditionally catered to the bold and the cunning. So -

"Why not." Tsunade finally said. "Why not explore that one a little further?"

Sakura shifted, her brows furrowed. "Explore? What does that even mean?"

"Think of him the way you used to think of Sasuke."

"It isn't clear when I think of him that way. It just feels weird because I'm used to Sasuke, and anyone else feels... I don't know."

Tsunade slipped her feet off the desk. The chair gave a loud hoot as tension broke and it resumed its usual vertical position. Tsunade raised herself up, hands now freed and started to put away the papers she had finished long ago. It was time to head home. "There's always another way," Tsunade said with an impish smirk, a very sadistic twinkle in her eye. The fluttering of papers went on through their conversation.

Sakura assisted in the cleanup. She gathered both their cups and started to collect the mess of bottles on the floor, including the one they killed off together. She didn't seem fazed by Tsunade's audacity anymore; the wine had relaxed her senses completely. "Let's hear it," Sakura confidently replied.

"If the every day things don't give you clarity, there's one thing for sure that will. See if he brings you to climax," Tsunade said nonchalantly as if she was describing a mundane chore.

Sober Sakura would have given Tsunade a double take for this advice. Drunk Sakura, however, seemed to be zen with the lewd suggestion.

* * *

She was lost in her thoughts as Tsunade chattered away. She would occasionally check in the vocalized stream of consciousness to make mention of her attendance. Her mind would dip in, picking up a word here and there: "how to organize the right skill set and team," and "I need to learn how to minimize the need for paperwork," or "how many clauses can one contract fit into its own proviso", and make an offhand remark about administration. Before Sakura knew it, they blithely tied up the office. Then they were down the stairs. Then they were outside, ready to go their separate ways. The world had somehow taken on a fast-forwarding effect.

She snapped out of her trance as Tsunade was speaking the last complaints of her day. When she returned down to the planet, Sakura had fully processed their conversation.

She wasn't sure whether or not she'd cry out his name in her pillow in the sheets, but there was something there. She didn't need to wonder whether she cared for this man, because she always had. She just never admitted it with Sasuke blocking the view. She had a lot to think about – innocently and not so innocently – before deciding to go down this dangerous path. She was his former student, and there was undoubtedly some mandate somewhere about student-teacher relations.

As Tsunade waved to her, Sakura glanced up at her Hokage and bravely asked before departure: "Lady Tsunade," she slurred in her alcoholic euphoria. "If you don't mind, I am going to need some supervision with transformation chakra."

Tsunade had a mischievous expression on her face; she could put two and two together. She nodded and disappeared into the night towards the lit paths of Konoha west.

Sakura turned to Konoha east. Her thoughts, by habit, usually went to the Uchiha fugitive. Tonight, they decided a fun detour. Instead of hushed whispers, raven hair, and Sound territory, Sakura's mind rested like a carefree autumn leaf on the page of a book. Its owner reading voraciously, glued to its words as if it were his scripture and he the disciple. She wondered what laid in them. She was probably old enough to buy them to find out. Or, she could just forcefully borrow his. The latter seemed more of a fun pastime than the former if she were honest.

Indeed, field missions would be interesting in the next few months.


	2. 2: Spice

When Sakura had formed a plan, it was over dinner. The unwitting accomplice none the wiser of his crucial role opening up a Pandora's Bento Box.

* * *

The night was abuzz with the remaining cicadas of the season. Sakura was no longer in her in medical uniform and comfortably stood in her loose hoodie with black plush leggings. The nights were getting chilly, and the traditional sandals were replaced by winter booties. Her hair, although smoothed, was untidied from a draining day of demoralizing failed experiments. She even smelled of smoke from one distinctive consequence.

She pulled up her hood, a cloudy gray from her usual bright choices, and watched the fog of her breath float in the air. Her eyes skipped along the faces passing by like a stone on water. She was looking for someone specific. He had grown taller in his adolescence, even a little rugged, but trademarked bowl-cut was timeless.

In the years of Sasuke and Naruto's absence, Sakura had found a kindred spirit within Lee. The two had found a platonic equilibrium in the passing years. They had a lot in common in their pursuit to become reputational shinobi. Whenever she needed to remember that it didn't take special eyes or a DNA quirk to become brilliant, a moment bathing in the inspirational aura that was Lee would perk her right up. She would say the same about Gai, but his sense of youth often overwhelmed her.

The ramen dates of Team 7 had been replaced with these all-you-can-eat dinners with Lee. It had started unintended as an exhausted detour after an obnoxious mission. The offhand suggestion had been such fun that the two kept finding reasons to meet up again. Each time they would reschedule the same day and time. After a handful of weeks, it was just implied to show up on Thursday, at 17:40, at Komatsu's.

She was standing by a newly remodeled grill. The neoteric shop had moved in the past year and was one of the closer restaurants to their operative district. It was the shortest distance for both of them to walk and meet. The reviews were not always perfect, but it was glowing enough for both Sakura and Lee to stake it out as their Thursday haunts.

The technology of Konoha was starting to show itself with these new cropped up shops. The modern dive had a giant neon sign of lightning blue, reading boldly, "KOMATSU'S GRILL." Before this, Konoha had never even seen the presence of "neon" in its borders before. It had a unique layout of equal outdoor and indoor seating. The outdoor seating had braziers to warm their customers up, allowing even the colder days to be enjoyed. Sakura typically preferred the indoor plush booths, while Lee liked the atmospheric outside seating. The night as showing to be a beautifully clear one, and Sakura enjoyed being in the moment, losing interest in people watching and focusing on the thin crescent of the bright moon.

* * *

"Sakura!"

The familiar holler snapped her attention to its direction.

"Sakura, I am so sorry I am late," Lee's formalized tone cut through the buzzing of villager and cicada. Shining, well-groomed black hair emerged from the masses, and Sakura gave an easygoing smile to her friend. His steps were tired and clumsy, panting a little through his mad dash once he found her. He was still in his green jumpsuit and endearing orange leg warmers. "Gai-sensei instituted a challenge of who could build a most effective make-shift camp, and we ended up assembling and disassembling several camps until—"

Sakura removed a stick that roguishly found home within his typically smooth hair.

"—Oh," he stopped, noticing her removing the evidence of his endeavor. "I did not check if I was presentable for our usual date. Forgive me, Sakura-chan." The diminutive made its cute appearance once he had caught his breath. He seemed to feel sheepish as she tossed the twig away, her eyes glancing around to make sure there was nothing more disheveled on his person.

"So how many did you make?" Sakura chimed back, insouciant and continuing the conversation as if this was a regular occurrence. Gai seemed restless in his competitive verve with Kakashi gone. In the absence of his rival, his protégé took it upon himself to fill in the often-patient shoes of the stoic friend. In retrospect, Lee had saved Kakashi from pretty outrageous claims for championship.

"Six and a half," Lee dusted himself, now self-conscious. "Gai-sensei made the best. His seemed to withstand more severe weather conditions. I learned quite a bit about thatching with leaves and sticks. Did you know that by river banks, dig deep enough, you are most likely to find this particular kind of clay? Cure it with fire, and you can make a formidable roof that can keep out any amount of rain!"

"Hum," Sakura replied, listening to Lee's enthused explanation. She watched his eyes light up as he continued to talk energetically, despite moving like a ragdoll.

"And did you know the right kind of sticks to gather? The right size and diameter? There are specific sizes that you will need to look for to be able to make a decent enclosure. It's all such a skilled art to use the nature around you to build a home."

"If I didn't know better," Sakura's silky smile turned into a comical smirk, "It almost sounds like you two were competing in building nests."

Lee's laughter broke out boisterously. A voice formally called out from the front desk.

"Haruno, table for 2?"

"Ah, good thinking Sakura-chan," Lee praised, realizing how the rush hour was about to start. "Always prepared!"

"Always," Sakura agreed, and the two went inside.

* * *

"The experiments have been progressing, but it hasn't shown quite the predictable results as I hoped," Sakura fussed, prodding a sliced eggplant with an agitated fork poke. "I've in fact been doing the same jutsu for a week with only burns to show for it."

Lee swallowed a mouthful of rice, his thick eyebrows arching. "What medical jutsu could you be doing that would burn someone?"

"It's not always medical," Sakura's eyes rolled upwards as if she were trying to look virtuous as she answered ambiguously. "I'm trying to master a fire jutsu with chakra control. It has some medical uses, such as cauterizing a wound. But, mainly, it's for my own exercise of ninjutsu training. I can't be too focused on taijutsu and genjutsu."

"A new fire jutsu, huh?" Lee said almost enviously, wondering what it would be like to draw power and create fire at your fingertips.

"Nothing to write a report about," Sakura humbly remarked, "My genjutsu and medical jutsu will be paying my dues under Tsunade's tutelage. Blood transfusion in particular."

"Blood transfusion? What is this, and what's it for?" Lee excitedly asked, enjoying listening to Sakura speak so detailed about her work.

And so, she did. She explained to Lee about blood transfusions, blood types, and even sharing memories or feelings through transfusions. She explained to him her theories about how these procedures could create a temporary, weak telepathic bond. She spoke of her speculation of chakra transfer given the right conditions. Lee listened intently as he ordered a second and third helping of the same dish. After a time, Sakura decided to change the subject.

"You know, though, Lee," Sakura started, munching a little more of her eggplant and beef. "Is it me, but you noticing that our generation is starting to…well, I don't know, pair off?"

Lee gulped tea and then returned his attention to her. "You mean?"

"I mean, have you noticed that some of us are starting to date one another? The other day I was noticing Ino hitting on Sai. Sai, of all people. It wasn't even subtle. I know that Hinata has always had this big thing for Naruto, but Naruto seems still to be—" she paused, not wanting to admit or make public admission she was aware of his head-over-heels feelings towards her, "—unable to notice how wonderful she is. One of the Hyuuga girls was eyeing you a few weeks back, and Tenten, well, you know Tenten and how she looks at you."

Lee did not budge. Sakura's sharp eyes glanced up and noticed him completely still and quiet.

"Lee?" she called, not understanding his sudden deer-in-the-flashlights look.

"Tenten?"

"Yes, Tenten?"

"Tenten?" he asked again as if he were grasping a difficult mathematical concept.

"You don't notice her looking at you whenever you're doing your, ah," Sakura waved her hand in the air, her eyes glancing up to the side. "You know, your 'things,' with Gai-sensei? Don't tell me you've not noticed, not once, where her eyes follow? All these years?"

Lee remained still as a statue. "But Neji—"

"The shinobi prides themselves on being masters of observation, Lee."

"Tenten," he repeated, his eyes lowering to the table and chewing on that thought.

"Did I break you?" Sakura wryly joked. She was starting to notice her humor was branding Tsunade's edge more by the day now. She moved forward in the topic as her busted compatriot was dragged along. "It's been a vague thing between all of us these years. As we've grown older, more independent, simple crushes seem to be growing…deeper. Definitive and clear. It's…It's strange, but I started to wonder about that. About where I fall in that."

Lee snapped back to reality, trying to decipher her nebulousness. Sakura was usually very clear and direct about what was on her mind. This was jumbled, incomplete, and quite frankly, confusing. A brief pause, he filled in the gaps himself. "Where you fall into…what? You mean, your relationship with Sasuke?"

"Yeah," Sakura said with a distant look. She was staring into her tea. Her first complete thought fell out of her lips. "A long time has passed. I don't know what kind of person he is. I haven't grown beside him the way I have the rest of you. He's one of us, but he's missed so much shared history. I still love him. I love him so much, more than I know anyone else."

Sakura drifted in the silence.

"Who I remember and who he is now could be very different people. I don't know if it's as clear to me that we were meant to be, as it was then. The thought of not having that figured out is, well… it feels like I am losing a part of my identity. My feelings for Sasuke seemed as fundamental of who I am as Ino's infuriating existence."

It had been weeks that Tsunade's conversation had lurked in her mind. She had nursed her inquisitive attraction to her past teacher, but it was not without hesitation. Knotted, conflicted feelings prevented her from going too far. They chained her to what she couldn't tell was comfortable routine or resolute belief in true love. Tsunade was not a big fan of Sasuke's decisions or his treatment of her. Their conversations seemed tense when she tried to explain that Sasuke wasn't nearly as awful. Tsunade, on the other hand, would contend saying that Sasuke wasn't the damaged, fallen angel that she saw, either. He was an emotionally unstable, dangerous, and willing accomplice of one of the more perilous rogue ninja. The same outlaw, Tsunade would remind Sakura, that had murdered the past Hokage and left her with the job.

Lee was an unbiased and approachable territory. He was more level-headed than Tsunade, Ino, or herself in the matter. She knew if she were to get any closure, he would be her best bet.

"Sakura-chan, if I may be so bold to say," Lee started, his tone warm in hopes to uplift his companion. "There are some things I did notice about Sasuke from the get-go, that I think you may have, well….not noticed due to your intense feelings towards him."

"Pedestaling," Sakura termed it. Actually, it had been Tsunade who coined it. It made sense. In Sakura's eyes he was nearly perfect, and because of it, she was blind to the parts that made him human.

Lee chose his words carefully, and she could see it. "Sasuke is like, Sasuke was always a person who seemed to have a delicate…constitution about him."

Lee leaned back against the plush booth but did not break eye contact.

"Let's say we are all food, like this buffet here. Some of us like cabbage," Lee pointed to himself. "However, others might find cabbage repulsive. Then there's some that may not like cabbage unless introduced with spices. Then there's some of us that don't even care for cabbage and prefer eggplants."

He smiled at her and Sakura smiled back. She knew where he was going with this, but she preferred not to interrupt him.

"Sakura, you are not like other girls. If you were a dish, you would be something that had a strong and distinct flavor."

A hot feeling spread across Sakura's face, but not enough to cause a blush. Her smile grew wider at the compliment.

"You are cinnamon, or wasabi, or pepper oil. You test the mettle of the people who are with you. It takes a man of great strength or constitution to be able to take such a flavor on. Not many can." He took a moment to sip a bit of tea. "You also have a cool side to you, a calmer side. You are part refreshing, part spice."

"I am reduced to a menu item," Sakura gave the punchline with a chuckle.

"But you must understand," Lee exasperated. "Sakura-chan, what I am telling you is that Sasuke had a very delicate stomach. Sasuke could not the level of spice that you are."

Sakura's chuckle turned into a carefree laugh at the thought of Sasuke nibbling on her and steaming. The humor was shortlived, as a hot flush of red across her cheeks. Eating her. Oh no – oh no - her mind was traveling somewhere bad before she could stop it.

Although only playing with the idea of Tsunade's advice the first few weeks, Sakura eventually gave in. It led to Sakura imagining kinky and alluring situations to feel for a more magnetic attraction. She even used those fantasies as practice for her genjutsu. The practice had since given her a spontaneously dirty mind.

She hoped Lee did not notice her change in demeanor. He seemed to go forward without having made the connection.

"He preferred things that were gentle in taste. He seemed only to be able to stomach things that had a temperate flavor. Sasuke, well, is a very fragile person due to what he's been through. It's like developing many food allergies due to a terrible illness. He would need something that wouldn't make his stomach upset."

"So, I'm the level ten ramen that would kill him on the spot. Who do you think that Sasuke could be with?" Sakura seemed amused by all of this talk of food, over food, with crazy imaginings of eating one another. She mused she'd make a joke about cannibalism if oral sex wasn't overruling her more clever cortexes.

Stop thinking about sex, she reminded herself. Stop thinking about sex, stop thinking about sex, stop thinking about sex—

Silver hair, mismatched eyes, climax, stop thinking about sex!

"Hinata," Lee answered.

"Huh?"

The fog of arousal was dispelled instantly. Sakura was overjoyed by how Lee could so quickly disengage her hormones so well, but also very confused.

"Hinata," he repeated. "Hinata would be the kind of dish that would be soft and mellow in flavor. Like a coconut soup, with a hint of lemongrass. A soup with mushrooms and ginger, and shrimp that would soak up that smooth flavor. It would be sweet but not overwhelmingly so, hearty but not without any zest."

Despite Sakura's prods at his explanation, it suddenly made sense of what he was trying to say. She seemed dumbstruck that the silly conversation had turned into something profound. She had half a mind to order something spicy off the menu just to have a taste of her own kind of personality.

"He may want to be able to taste you, but handle you, I do not think that's a possibility," Lee surmised, hoping that his explanation arrived at the logical destination as affable as possible.

"Certainly explains Naruto's preferences," she tsked.

"Yes," Lee laughed along with her. "Yes, that seems to be his thing."

* * *

The chilled air felt refreshing after a warm meal. The two loitered around the entrance a few more moments, having last bits of idle chat about work. This was usually when the two shinobi parted ways. "Thanks for coming for dinner, Lee. Thanks for the talk earlier, too."

"Always a pleasure, Sakura-chan. See you again next Thursday."

Sakura waved as she watched his silhouette blend into the night. She turned on her heel and started to make her way to the northeast end of Konoha. Sakura slid her hoodie back up, snugging where the shoulder-length hair couldn't keep the frosty wind from touching her. White-skinned, cold fingers buried themselves in the hoodie's pockets and she prepared to bury herself in her own mind. She was jerked back from the edge by a familiar low laugh.

"The copy-nin is having another round? You're not going to get that report done in the morning," It was Genma's voice.

Sakura glanced up to see – at the farthest end of Katsumo's outside dining area – a cluster of older jounin festively conversing. She had not noticed them while dining with Lee, because even with the equally open spaces, it was hard to know who was in the establishment with them.

She approached closer. The low table was scattered with several sake bottles and empty dishes. Genma, Kakashi, Yamato, Iruka, and Asuma were having a night on the town. The only missing piece of that entourage was Might Gai, whom she knew was sleeping off his nest-making mania.

"Not that he needs to," Iruka seemed to be rolling his eyes. "The Fifth seems to be too lenient on him lately. You bribe her with something?"

"I take my time to provide with quality reports, Iruka. Proper rest is required to clear the mind to deliver such pristine professionalism," Kakashi bantered back.

"You're not Jiraiya, and this isn't a romance novel! It's a report, Kakashi. It needs to be timely," Iruka's rolled eye tone sounded like he was scowling a child at the Academy.

"I've yet to check in the hospital, I'm sure I can extend the due date with reasonable cause," Kakashi replied in his usual nonchalant, lighthearted tone. She didn't have to be facing him to know he was saying it with his trademark serene smile.

There was more muffled discussion between the older ninja. She decided to come by and say hello to her former sensei. He had been gone for nearly two months on a mission, and it would be only polite to drop a hello. Konohagakure was not the kind of village to rudely ignore a colleague.

She got within distance to greet the party without being disruptive. She removed her hood and brightened a smile towards her former sensei. "Welcome back, Kakashi-sensei." She leaned against the ornate fence that separated the public roadway and the dining area.

"Oh, yoooo, it's your old student!" Genma drunkenly pointed out the obvious. "Hey, there flower, good to see you."

"Good evening, Genma," she returned in a reposing inflection.

"Good to see you actually out of the Hokage building," Iruka warmly added. "You've been working very hard, and it's showing."

"Ah, thank you Iruka-sensei," she formally responded, her face flush from being caught off guard.

"You think we should order one more bottle? Happy hour is almost up," Gemna had asked Asuma, who was fiddling with his empty sake cup.

Iruka had a few questions for Sakura, mainly about her progress and the modernizing of the hospital in Konoha. As she answered, green eyes stole glances at Kakashi. Genma's arm was hanging over Kakashi's shoulder as Kakashi seemed – what's this? – floating in a blissful happy haze, his eyes their usual but perpetual crinkled smile. He was attentive yet out of it. Sakura's groomed eyebrows raised a little as Kakashi turned to her – but could he see her? His eyes were still closed in their smiling ways – and he lingered in her direction in his masked enjoyment.

A moment passed.

Oh.

Oh, she's seen this before. Tsunade – Tsunade was like – yes, she knew what this was.

Kakashi was tipsy.

"It's a pretty swag joint if you ask me," Genma continued. "You get to enjoy some of the delicacies of different places without the aching journey."

Asuma lit a cigarette, an idea sparking like his lighter. "Hm. I wonder if we'll get more imports and trading posts built here. It would be great to have more accessible trade items without having extra risk and cost of escorting our own caravans."

Iruka had paused his questioning of Sakura to participate, his quiet interest of politics manifesting itself. "Maybe? With the world stabilizing and Konoha being more active on the map, more trade deals are being made given Tsunade's natural talent for it. I wouldn't be surprised. This shop opened up pretty quickly all things considered. We'll probably have more like this as the years go on."

"Fantastic," Genma enthused, seeming estactic for the idea of foreign indulgences being funneled into quaint Konoha. In particular, a western spirit called vodka.

Yamato peered from behind Genma, the singular sober voice of the group. "Kakashi-senpai, I think you should have some water."

"Hmm?" Kakashi answered, and noticed the water that had miraculously conjured on the table by him. "Ah, yes, probably a good idea."

"Water? It'll just make that fire he has in his mouth worse, you know," Iruka quipped. "He probably would need milk, if he didn't drink all that fireball."

"Fireball?"

"Oh, ah," Iruka paused. "We all ordered a dish from one of the different lands. Some of us remember tasting some of the food back when we were traveling on missions. Asuma and I took a dish from the Land of Rivers. Yamato chose one from Frost, and Kakashi and Genma chose the more aromatic dishes from Land of Snow."

"Kakashi took the strongest. Had to wash it down with fireball vodka," Genma said. "A welcoming back punch from those that love you most." He cracked up at his own joke, his tongue sliding the senbon like a tumbleweed.

"Strongest?"

"Spiciest," Kakashi corrected – mistakenly? Or purposefully? – reaching not for the water glass, but for the cup of the supposed fireball vodka. "I'm still standing; I have become fireproof."

"Yeah, but you're pink as a peach. I bet five good kunai that you're sweating underneath that cool demeanor of yours," Asuma grinned.

"Where's Gai to call for a challenge when you need him?" Genma grinned.

Sakura seemed stunned. Perhaps, it was a coincidence. She had never known Kakashi to enjoy spicy anything.

"Kakashi-senpai, the water," Yamato started, noticing it untouched.

"Ah yes, I thought this was it," he humored, waved the empty sake cup. "An honest mistake."

"Well, it is good to see you safe and sound. I guess I will see you, eventually, in Lady Hokage's office," Sakura started, placing her hoodie up. Their little reunion seemed too serendipitous for her comfort. Especially so soon after her conversation with Lee.

"Heading home?" Iruka noticed her body language. "It is getting late, probably best we should head out ourselves."

Sakura nodded. "I have some left-over duties to take care of. I'll be heading out to the field in two weeks."

Asuma waved his hand. "Workday, go away. Come back a never-day."

Yamato raised himself up, taking it upon himself to be the more responsible angel to Genma's more impulsive demon. "I think we should. We paid for everything?"

Kakashi had a little slur in his speech, "It's tradition to pay for the nin that's come home after a long mission."

Genma glided the senbon over his lips, rolling his eyes. "Fine, Hatake. Fine. We'll cover you. But you can't keep skipping out on these bills on your coincidental circumstances!"

Kakashi feigned an injury, his playfulness more palpable in his lowered guard. "You injure me, Genma. Are you saying I never pay my own bills? Whatever happened to camaraderie and welcome home parties?"

"That's exactly what he's saying," Iruka placed his share of the bill onto the table. "Because you never do."

Kakashi placed his hand over his chest, becoming more expressive in his exaggeration.

"My hospital visit is nearer than I expected, for there's a kunai lodged in my heart from your words," Kakashi lamented in that languid tone of his.

"Oh, shove it," Iruka scoffed, tossing his head to the side.

Sakura started to turn and make her way as the party began to disperse. She opened her mouth to say goodnight to them all but was interrupted.

"Sakura, do you need someone to walk you home?" Yamato volunteered, in an attempt to be protective and gentlemanly.

"I should be fine. Anyone tries anything smart, I'm capable of defending myself," Sakura assured, placing her hands back into pockets.

"Well," Iruka said, "Would you mind being a responsible adult, and supervising the Kakashi of the Nonflammable to be secured at his quarters?"

"That's not necessary," Yamato started. "I can walk Kakashi-senpai back to his apartment. I live nearby. He still didn't drink enough water."

"I'm not a fish, Yamato," Kakashi sarcastically replied.

Asuma got up and put out his cigarette for the night. "You could, but don't you have to report for that new mission in the next few days? You're one of the Hokage's earlier appointments."

Yamato stiffened. "Well, yes. It is a bit of a distance, but—"

"It's fine," Sakura waved. "I'm also in the northeast. I've sparred with him, and survived him being a teacher. I can escort him. I'll even report if he spontaneously catches fire."

"Good," Iruka said, "Because Yamato, I'm going to need help getting," his eyes looked over to Genma's wavering figure, "the others home."

"What are you talking about," Genma retorted. He was beyond inebriated. He had ascended to a god-like state where he was the patron of the alcoholic spirits. In his hands, he had an empty sake bottle. A sake bottle that was three-quarters full when she got there.

Yamato nodded and Asuma stood up, figuring that another pair of hands wouldn't hurt to carry Genma if necessary. Genma definitely needed supervision, and a slightly tipsy Iruka couldn't contend with his godhood on his own.

As they handled the last of their expenses and started their way home, Sakura and Kakashi walked alongside each other into the night.

* * *

She didn't say much at first. Kakashi swayed subtly, but otherwise, seemed ordinary. His hands were in his pockets as usual, and he appeared as calm and as controlled as ever.

"I'm surprised you didn't teleport home."

"Depleted chakra," he answered. "I had to use the Sharingan on this mission. I would say I am about to drop dead from exhaustion, but I suspect admission would have you carrying me to the hospital against my will."

"And is that an admittance?" Sakura playfully bit.

"Can't collect hypotheticals as statements," Kakashi coyly replied back. "I haven't dropped dead yet, so I guess I'm not that exhausted."

"But depleted enough chakra to need to be walked home," Sakura teased.

"I suspect it's just comrades being a little too worrisome," Kakashi drolled, a slur still tinging a little of his words. "Iruka will make a great mother hen someday." He paused. "Yamato, too."

He chuckled quietly underneath his mask.

They continued down the path with Sakura smiling to herself. Although these past weeks she had imagined him in the dirtiest scenarios, she couldn't help but fall into their old relationship roles. It was so hot and easy to think of him below her waistline, but now that he was here, in front of her, it all seemed so silly. She can't even imagine him without his mask off. She warmed her hands within her hoodie pockets, fingers fiddling while absorbing the difference of reality versus fantasy.

"How's the medical training?" Kakashi asked, noticing she was getting lost in her thoughts. He always seemed interested in how she was doing, and Sakura was never the type to elect information with him. He wondered if her reverie was about Sasuke. It had been nearly six months since he had heard her openly talk about him.

"Should go to the hospital on time to find out," she baited. "I'll be a much harder doctor than your past ones, that's for sure."

"Sakura, I go to the doctor to be healed, not to be sadistically tortured."

"Would assume different considering how much you avoid it," Sakura teased again. "Avoiding it just prolongs the suffering. The only sense I can make of it is because you like it, you masochist."

Kakashi glanced over and arched a mirthful eyebrow at her jesting at this time of night. "She's caught me."

She returned his expression with a playful smile.

"It's going really well," Sakura returned to the topic and answered properly. "I should have my own jutsu soon. Something to show for the research and effort the Lady Hokage has put into me. Still going to take some time, but the honest truth is I need a break. I'm relieved to be going out and on active duty soon."

"Coming out to play with the rest of us," he hummed.

Sakura laughed. "Ah, yes, near death experiences seem to really cut loose."

The both of them were quietly amused at her references of their past missions. Many of them near-emotionally crippling misadventures but struggling to have fun along the way.

"So, spicy dishes? Really? Did they dare you to do it?"

"Dare me?" Kakashi queried. "Why would they need to dare me?"

"I've never heard you ever, willingly, eat anything spicy. Far as I remember you only order plain things. Usually fish and some eggplant, or some miso soup. Spicy, though? I thought you didn't like it."

"Aa, that's fried or sweet foods, Sakura."

Sakura raised her hands out of her pockets, a mocking tone slipping from her delicate lips. "Whoops! Well, there goes my plan to surprise you with lunch."

"You jest," Kakashi mocked back. "False promises of a homemade lunch, such a kunai to the back. Sakura, I thought you were a doctor."

"Do we need to revisit that you're a masochist?" Sakura's smirk tugged at the corners of her mouth, looking directly at him.

Kakashi let out a low laugh. "No, it wasn't a dare, Sakura. This may surprise you, but I do like spicy foods. Spice usually adds a little fire and liveliness to the meal."

"Anything you recommend?"

"I tried the broiled eel with sansho pepper. Had it along with mixed vegetables with soba noodles, with a broth mixed in koregusu. I rather liked it."

Sakura's smile turned into a firm line. Koregusu? Koregusu was one of the spiciest condiments out there. In fact, it was like putting lighter fluid on your tongue and swallowing a lit match.

"You had that and did not burn alive?"

"Along with fireball vodka," Kakashi nodded.

"Fireball vodka?"

"Cinnamon vodka," Kakashi detailed. "For the palette, it would be strange to have a sour sake. The spice and the sweet so strong can be a bit overwhelming in sensations, but with appropriate doses, they make a great combination. Complementary flavors, Sakura, usually make a great meal."

Sakura lingered in the thought. "And you enjoyed it."

Kakashi looked up at the stars, sobering up as they were approaching their destination within minutes. "Very much so."

Sakura let out a quick, startlingly loud laugh. "Are you really human?"

Kakashi smiled. "A non-flammable one."

* * *

In her bed, Sakura stared at the ceiling. It was 04:38. She had been home only two hours, but she couldn't sleep. She couldn't stop thinking about what Lee had said. The ironic twist of choice of where and what Kakashi had for dinner. There was something here, she realized, to be enjoyed and accepted.

What Lee had said made sense. She revisited his metaphor and was glad it had put her at peace. It was the last stand for validation, to know it was the right time to move on from Sasuke. It helped to leave something behind when you had a destination to move to, and for now, Kakashi Hatake was a destination.

As her eyes grew havy, skilled hands moved across her stomach and below.

She could still smell him, fireball vodka and all. She could envision his tousled silver hair, his slouched posture, the sound of the smooth timbre of his voice. This was not like the other times she imagined him – often hyper-idealized, his behavior uncharacteristic for her own erotic agenda, his body a different shape and movement a different cadence than the real thing. No, she imagined him the way he was, the way she had just seen him tonight.

The way he really is.

She imagined him spun in bravery. That with the right variables lined up, he would lean in and kiss her before they parted ways. His lips would open, mask and all, against hers, and feel her warm and lithe body by pulling her close. He would have been blushing, even with his initiative.

No, Kakashi would not take the initiative. He usually lived his life very cerebrally. Even though he was so engrossed in those trashy romance novels, he lived in an emotional fortress. He kept everyone at a distance. If a kiss were to be had, it would be due to Sakura's cunning. He was the type that needed that encouragement because of how emotionally closed off he was. Kakashi was too professional to start the advance. It would have to be her.

Kakashi was, as she studied deeper as time went on, a shyer, more reserved, more compassionate man than he disguised himself to be.

Fingers danced and she opened her mouth to let out a happy sound. She suspected she'd no longer have trouble reconciling the reality with the fantasy now. As her back arched and she quickly found herself riding the nerves firing in her own body, she made a resolute decision to follow through with her impromptu plan.

She had lied to Lee about the fire jutsu. It had been the forbidden transformation jutsu she had been practicing. Sometimes, her attempts would lead to explosive results. The outcome would leave her a few years too young, or decade years too old. With renewed vigor, she was sure to achieve the perfect result. Her change in post will be in four days: she could make the deadline.

Kakashi was going to get a surprise, as she had finally the courage and the clarity to do it.

He made it clear that he enjoyed playing with fire.


	3. 3: Moxie

When Sakura made her first move, she practiced until it was perfected. In her cunning, she had discovered an aqueous element that glided in his momentum. She did not win the challenge, but winning had not been the goal. She wanted to sweep him in the current.

* * *

She stood at the bridge adjusting the glove on her left hand. She flexed small fingers to keep them going stiff from cold against the contracting leather.

Sakura was dressed in waterproof boots along a thick, red jacket with fur lined hood. The plushed black leggings insulated her legs from going stiff. The leggings were warm enough, but she still shivered visibly waiting for her sparring partner. As she struggled to still her body, she reminded herself she preferred it this way rather than stripping layers during a fight. If Kakashi didn't show up soon, he would soon find an icicle. He should have been aware of the weather today – and made the consideration to come on time.

Winter had greeted Konohagakure with an illustrious week of non-stop snow. Today was the first day the sun made a brief appearance since the beginning of the month. Rays of sun played with the prism ice lances on rooftops and laid a shimmer on the landscape. Konoha in winter always revealed how "hidden" it was. Once everything was covered in snow, it was hard to tell apart the village from the sea of trees.

The sunlight went to work melting the built layers of ice that accrued on the ground. As the day went on, the roads of Konoha grew muddy. The bridges became slippery and the rivers began to crack. Sakura still waited.

The sun was near midday mark when feverish impatience stirred in Sakura. She had been there for almost forty minutes. Anger would have been a proper response, but his predictable rituals seemed par of the course. She had been used to his lateness since her pre-pubescent years. He was certainly a creature of habit and he kept to them like clockwork. If she was going to get the flu after this, she swore she'd make him patient 0.

"Yo."

Even the customary greeting of Kakashi Hatake remained unchanged.

Sakura turned around to see the man in his normal jounin uniform. His only preparation of the elements was a thick beige cloak draped around him. As she checked her sparring partner for his readiness, she raised an eyebrow as her eyes moved downward. In this cold, the man was wearing sandals.

"Leave your house in a rush?"

He followed her gaze down to his feet. "Ah, no. I figured I wouldn't end up on the ground too much." His voice wasn't even haughty when he said that – it was absentminded, as if he didn't consider how it would come off.

"Pft," she tossed her head aside. "Last words before you tread tracks in your apartment."

Kakashi smiled his usual, placid way. "It has been a while since we have sparred. Perhaps, you'll surprise me. You're certainly taller this time."

The amiable way he responded soothed her slightly. A part of her wanted to banter so she could release some steam for his inconsideration. He did hold a point: it had been a while since they did this. Between her training with Tsunade and his own hectic mission schedule, they hadn't found much time to spend with one another. Once Sasuke and Naruto left, Team 7 had dissolved and they had gone their separate ways.

Sparring with him again brought good memories. She enjoyed the heady nostalgia, even homesickness. Team 7 had been a home to her, her first real step to becoming a shinobi. Everything then seemed so bright and opportunistic. Team 7 was going to be one of the best teams out there. How far astray things went.

"It has been," she agreed. "I'm glad we're changing that. Thanks for coming, Kakashi-sensei." Sakura kept the civility for now.

He shrugged indifferently. "I don't think I ever stop being your teacher. Until we're peers, we are all here to train the next generation. So of course, I will be here to help, no matter what."

She flinched at the word 'teacher'. She still called him sensei, so it was no surprise that he referred to himself as such. It was one thing for her to respectfully say the honorific, it was another thing for him to affirm the relationship. She yearned for the years when that affirmation did not bother her.

He pulled out his bells from her childhood. She could hear the familiar chime of them and she had a pavlovian response.

"So, like old times?" Kakashi smoothly said, dangling it between pinched fingers. It was like they were repeating their student-teacher days. Sakura could feel herself sliding into the complacent role and she needed to resist it. She needed to instill something different now; the teacher-student relationship needed a critical update.

"Ah, no," Sakura stepped towards him, her hand up. "No bell tests. I associate that with teamwork, and, well," she glanced around her as if signifying how alone she really was. The pain ached beneath the surface like a bruise, like it had been, since the day Sasuke left.

Kakashi was still, his hand still holding the bell up, and his eyes calmly looking directly at her. "You have another plan?"

Sakura did. In fact, him standing here with her this very day, was the first parts of it.

"Actually, I do," Sakura confidently responded. She decided that the only way to work out her jumpy nerves was to make this a game.

The long, historical epic of attempting to unmask The Great Kakashi had been a fun past time for all the kids of all ages. Even with the inevitable loss, it always concluded in good fun. She needed that good feeling should things go wrong. Without knowing how he'll react, she needed insure goodwill if things fell through. This was security. It was a good way to break the ice, as it were, and fit into the risky design of her plan. "Until Naruto and Sasuke come back, I'm going to carry on the mission to unmask you. In their honor."

Kakashi's footing shifted and the bell slid back into one of his pockets. Was that a smile, amusement, or interest? Or all three? He was too far for Sakura to translate the minuet signs in his eye. At the distance she could still see he remained the same, unchanging slouch – yielding no indications whether he was going to go with the idea. There was no response.

Sakura tightened the gloves around her hands, flexing them to get the blood flowing. She was cognizant not to make it a nervous fidget, she'd give herself away. "It's basically the same challenge, right? And instead of a lunch for a reward," Sakura glanced up, trying to think of a hasty incentive for herself. She hadn't covered this detail. Reminiscing the various other rewards of unmasking him, a funny thought popped in her head. It was all she could think of. She decided to go with it, because why not? It's not like she would win.

"If I win, and get to unmask you, I want a way to contact Sukea."

"What?" his eye widened so evidently, she could see it from there. Sakura wasn't sure if the reaction was to his relationship with him or to her request. He didn't still have a problem with the photographer, did he? Though her memories were fuzzy, she did recall Sukea and Kakashi weren't on good terms. Yet, Kakashi certainly was not the type to hold on to petty bad blood, especially after the past few years. At least, she could guess.

"I want a way to contact Sukea, if I win," she said again. Her gloves taut and ready. She was tired adjusting and fiddling with them and wanting to get things going. She moved closer to encourage the start. She had a polite smile on her face, but her eyes seemed daring. "So, we starting this here on the bridge? Or you going to go into the trees, since we can't get someone's toes muddy."

Sakura could still see the small signs of his unsettled countenance. It didn't reflect in his final compliant answer. "Consider it game."

Kakashi's mien calibrated back to its low-key stasis, and without warning, leapt away from the bridge. He gracefully bound between the forming puddles and disappeared into the canopy. Sakura, electrified with excitement she was the pursuant for once, focused on his fading trail of chakra. She took to him with moxie, her feet hitting the ground with forceful drive. The game was on.

* * *

He was hiding in the trees with his usual lazy, relaxed slouch. He watched Sakura distantly and closely; impressed his groundwork of distraction was a waste of chakra and time. He had used his usual replacement techniques and genjutsu tricks – the very same when she was a child – to get a feel for her skill. She had dispelled them with ease and familiarity. She had become a competent hunter. The easy diversions weren't going to keep her away for long – but just enough to let him think. Enough collected seconds allowed him a few minutes to ponder.

Why did she ask for Sukea? What was her end game with his secret identity?

"Found you," a sing-songy voice crashed through his thoughts. He snapped back to attention, just before a blur of red descended from above. She was coming fiery heel first.

"You shouldn't let them know," he said in his schoolteacher tone. It had a calm edge to it; chastising and strict. Old habits die hard.

She smashed through the collection of branches of his perch. The wood splintered and fell to the forest floor in the aftermath of furious grace. A flutter of his cloak was the only sound that clued her in of his departure. He flew through the branches like a fluid beam of lightning. She hounded after him through the green and white with the force of a meteor. The two kept moving northward as she chased to what looked to be a clearing. When he had halted, he was in the middle of a snow-laden meadow. Patches had melted, and sparse trees decorated the yawning stretch of open space. The sunlight pooled light and cooed the green blades of grass beneath to rise. If he was not in the middle of training, he would have appreciated the breathtaking view. He still tried to, at least, until Sakura arrived in no time to greet him with a swinging right leg at his shoulder.

With practiced speed, Kakashi grabbed hold of the muddied treads of leather and with chakra-force propelled her across the field. Sakura flew and tumbled through the air. She quickly oriented and landed like a cat. She darted right back towards him with the same intuition of a boomerang. He was ready for her this time. Even though her past attempts cost him no effort, her surprise assaults did require more awareness than he initially expected. His flexed arms moved up defensively, not moving from his spot. He met her charge with an immovable stance. They collided and wind rippled the few freed strands of grass. In a power struggle, they remained interlocked. She took it as an opportunity to fire a right hook punch, and he dodged. He countered it with a sweeping left leg and almost knocked her down.

Her footing faltered for several uncertain seconds. She shuffled and gained recovery, refusing to fall. The victory was mixed, though, as her footwork had been disordered. Her balance was rooted yet he had forced her in an awkward offensive position. He had the upper hand now, and he wasn't going to let her take it from him.

His taijutsu met hers blow by blow. For a half hour, the two reverberated the panorama with their percussions. He was restrained in response to her inexperienced, impulsive barrage. Every few jabs he threw a test to see if she was mindlessly throwing anything she had. He had several punches to her right, then her left. Some she managed to dodge, others, he landed gingerly. Sakura seemed frustrated that he was so easily getting the best of her and she jerked away from their close encounter.

Sakura looked roughed up already and she knew it. Although it had triggered more rage than eroticism, the tense behavior was building a latent sexual energy for her end goal. She didn't care about the years of experience he had over her. Those were things she couldn't help – but she still simmered over it. She knew she was being hard on herself. She knew she was putting an unrealistic expectation on herself. Her logical brain wasn't thinking; instead her heart pounded hot blood through her and her emotions fired her up faster. _Stop going soft on me. Stop going soft on me! Throw me everything you've got!_

Wound up, she did the only thing she knew would step up the stakes. She had already let a minute pass by, and if she didn't take it, he would. She wanted this serious. She wanted to be taken as a serious opponent. Even though unmasking him wasn't the prime directive, she couldn't swallow how tender he still handled her. She wasn't going to allow it. She was strong, she was resilient, and she was going to be just that – even if she forces his hand. She could take it, and she wasn't going to be treated she couldn't.

She started concentrating her chakra into her feet. She was going to rip everything open if she had to. "You're being so gentle, Kakashi. You realize I'm not 12 anymore, right?"

Kakashi smiled, the schoolteacher tone still equipped in their exchanges. It was wise, patient, but still authoritative. He wasn't trying to be condescending, she knew that. He was being affectionate. She just couldn't tell the difference in this state. "If you get hurt in your first spar back, wouldn't help you much, would it?"

"Not the point!" she yelled, finishing her chakra focus. The sprint was launched like a bullet, and she moved as if she imbibed rocket fuel. She wasn't going to meet him head on this time. Instead, she was going to slide by his side and try a roundhouse kick. The earth crackled beneath her soles with each step closer. Upon near contact, she spun and cut loose a roundhouse kick from behind at his side. Between speed and footwork, she did land the mark on Kakashi but only briefly. He reacted briskly enough to avoid the full force of her velocity. He bounced back a little and seemed to pull his own counterattack. He grabbed her free arm by the forearm and jerked her down. Her feet slipped forward from an unexpected spot of mud, and she started a flip in a struggle to remain on her feet. Her ninja instincts decided to take this as an opportunity. Her hand gripped his as he had held hers, and changed focus of her chakra to her fingers. Once she was able to gain some semblance of balance, she charged her arm to catapult him across the field this time as she landed on her feet.

She was breathless when she succeeded.

He flew far but not out of control. It was obvious he was not affected too much by the maneuver. He landed with the grace of a bird and regained his composure in turnaround time. Yet, there was a distinctive change in his posture than when he was on the bridge. He stood straight and Sakura knew her message was received. There was no more slouch. There was no laziness in his body language. He was attentive, his eye clearly open and focusing right on her. It was clear he couldn't fight her subdued like this – she was going to use it against him. The only thing Kakashi could do to keep the power in check was to become the aggressor. Unbeknownst to him, that's exactly what she wanted.

He dashed, and she side-stepped him, throwing another punch right at his face. He blocked it, trying to grasp at her hands again. She leaned back and slipped away from his grapple, allowing her space to do a spinning kick. He easily deflected it and made another grab for her foot. She flipped away from him. The two remained like this another few minutes – him advancing and seizing parts of her careless form, and her dodging sloppily and clumsily – in a fluidity of yin and yang. She was barely getting away from his steel and determined digits. She wasn't going to be able to elude for long, because doing so was costing way too much energy. She couldn't spar with him too close. Kakashi had known Sakura for too long, and made it easy for him to predict her style. It was a matter of time she was going to have a slip of footing, and then it would be another struggle before he would pin her.

He was anticipating each of her moves and she could see it in his face. His eye was no longer half-lidded and she could see how he calculated her. Each blow she sent he was premeditating a way of mirroring it. He wasn't even using the Sharingan. This frustrated her even further, admitting his defense was of diamond standard, but his offense was something far superior. He could judge someone's attack as they made it, and turn it right on them. Probably developed after so much use of the Sharingan. He pushed harder to find a way to disable her, not even waiting for her own exchanges. She must have really pushed the boundary to get him to finally fight back.

Another several minutes flew as he continued his taijutsu lead. He wasn't even using his jutsu and Sakura found herself losing her hold. He was bigger than her, stronger than her, and any opening he gave her were baits to draw her out of her garrison.

If she drove her attacks at a distance, she guessed he couldn't tell what she was going to do next. It was the only viable action she had at her disposal. She needed to find a way to disengage in the fitful dance with him and go. When the opening came, she focused all she could on his body. Her aching muscles forced agility she could muster. She slipped under his next right jab to her chest, and watched his other gloved hand reach to hold her. She spun again, twisting away from his body with able celerity. She continued forward and away from him, running with enough distance and checking if he was following after. When she turned back, she could hear him say, "Shadow Clone Jutsu!"

"Oh, come on," she whispered under her breath. The original Kakashi had remained in place but three Kakashis started their run, quickly coming upon her. Just as her anger had subsided it rustled again. He saw her taking the advantage. Did he intend for her to? He had reacted to her dashing off with relaxation, as if it was his plan all along. Her tactical retreat had given signal that he was making some headway. He wasn't going to chase her down and wear himself out. Instead, he was going to send clones to tire her out. Tire her out until she will have no choice but to have close encounters with him. He would win.

Kakashi pulled out his book from his usual pouch. He poofed, leaving the three to deal with her. Her fists clenched. She had no way of managing getting close to his mask, or even getting his guard down. She started to doubt the success of her plan. If he was going to be that difficult, fine. She braced herself for assault of three copies of the jounin.

And then - the book, she realized.

The book!

She needed to get the book if she had any hope to stay on course. Her entire setup involved him coming after her. She had no back up plan, no other way of executing what she hoped to accomplish. The book was her only route to get close. She had to find a way to cleverly distract him to grab it. She was relieved that the book was at his rear. If it was front, like his mask, she would have abandoned this gamble before it even took off.

Sakura narrowed her eyes at the clones and decided to take out the frustration on them. Faint glow of aqua veiled her hands, and she went straight for the trio of masked men. In the back of Sakura's mind, this was as far away from what she intended as it could get.


	4. 4: Cunning

When Sakura decided for her first kiss, she went against every dream of her childhood. In the fog of the unknown, she realized that sometimes, surprises come in the least expected ways – and could revitalize to feel it like it's the first time, all over again.

* * *

Kakashi was flipping through pages of a new series called Blackout. He had finished a non-fiction the other week about tracking and water reading. The book leant a few tips and tricks, and even made Kakashi walk away feeling he had become a better tracker. The non-fiction had been a dry read, though, and had left him hungry for something more passionate. He had picked up this novel in his last visit at the bookstore. It was introduced with raving signs heralding it as a spiritual sister of the Makeout Paradise series. He was not an easy sell, but he was a ravenous reader, and he could only read Makeout Paradise so many times. It was time for him to try out new writers in the genre anyhow.

The writer had an eloquence with language but had an overreliance on flowery words. The descriptions seemed to be a lot denser than what he was used to. The structure of the novel's sentences at first seemed bombastic. He had yet to stumble on the explicit material, but if the reviews were right – the embellishing descriptions would make for some highly satisfying pornographic narrative. Perhaps he was just used to Jiraiya's very overdramatic and overt porn. Jiraiya's language was not especially illustrative, leaving many scenes and characters to the imagination of the reader. He did have a way of pulling heart strings for the characters, kindling the slow burn of love before an explosive sexual encounter. In a way, Jiraiya wrote as the way he lived: emotionally intense, blatantly obvious, and enthusiastic for love.

Comparatively, this author felt conservative, and preferred a very subtle and subversive pull. As he flipped through the pages getting used to the writer, he could feel that the descriptions helped his imagination with vividness. It made it easier for him to vicariously live through the characters. The main protagonist was a complex, lonely character with abandonment issues. Jiraiya always preferred characters who were outgoing, vocal, and far more confident than this. The change of pace was interesting to say the least.

He glanced up from his book, eyeing the silent forest. He was roosting on a thick branch, relaxing against the trunk. One clone was down.

He went back down to the book and flipped the page.

Felix was easy for him to relate to. His abandonment issues were due to being in an orphanage, a mother dead and a father lost to war. The abandonment worsened when his adoptive sister was taken away due to a special ability, leaving him alone. Although the circumstances were different, Kakashi related deeply being left behind and all alone. That was enough for him to feel for Felix.

Oh, clone two is gone.

He fingered the edge of the page, reading a little more about Felix's inner monologue as he encountered another character. A character that Kakashi assumed was the leading lady—

She got the third. That was quick.

Kakashi closed the book, presupposing that Sakura would start hunting for him any time now. He wondered if he could make another body replacement jutsu to leave another trail of diversions. She couldn't keep this spirited fortitude for too long. Or could she?

He dusted himself of tumbled snow, placing his book back in his pouch and started his hike through the treetops. He could hear her coming. Crashes, snaps, the rush of wind. He wasn't sure if revealing herself was part of her strategy. If it was, he had to sit her down and tell her the meaning of ninja was not, "throwing a parade before the assassination." He made another body replacement jutsu at a particular tree, then moved on.

He hopped from branch to branch, heeding that the forest was silent again. Did she get distracted? Did she give up? He'll wait, again. He had left several little clones to keep her busy. He had time.

He looked below and saw a soft patch of grass in the sunlight. The snow had long melted there and looked delightful as a resting spot. He swung down, settled down in the green, and opened the book again. He remained hyper aware even though he got reabsorbed back in the story. Now, as paged through the book, Felix was just about to meet a spirited, stubborn woman named Aloisia.

* * *

Kakashi was deeply hooked in his book when he felt a disturbance. The quiet had something amiss and he could feel it. He glanced up slowly, wondering if Sakura had finally found him. He didn't know how much time had passed. Had it been moments or hours? The writer, while he had been critical before, had done a great job suspending him in the literary world. Maven and Fluerie had just convinced Aloisia to take Felix on a celebratory date. They were all stranded on a fisherman's manmade port as they repaired their flying vessel. He wanted to get into the juicy details, as Aloisia and Felix finally moved past their antagonistic relationship with one another. However, other duties called. Duties such as being sure to dodge Sakura's angry fists finding their way into his rib cage. He figured she would be irate with the clone mess he left behind and he was preparing for the wrath.

Marking his place in the book, he waited. And waited. And waited.

Nothing came.

Did she expect him to come to her? He could simply walk away: she was the one that wanted the mask off him.

He could still feel her out there, though, and knew she was doing something – he just couldn't tell what. Possibly about to cause a widespread earthquake?

He remained in the still stand-off until pink broke the scene of black, white, and green. She was walking through the thicket, letting snow fall onto her shoulders and hair. She came right to where he was sitting and he waited, knowing she was not the type to come so peacefully.

"Got some reading in, did you?" she asked pleasantly, still continuing forward to him. This was a different tactic of hers. She wasn't going for brazen, and that put him on guard. "Well? Is it a good book?"

He stiffened, eyeing her and remaining alert for traps. Was this a distraction? He was paying every attention to all around him now, hyper mindful of every sound, movement, and shift.

"It's one of the new ones that are paralleling to the Makeout formulas, right?"

Kakashi studied her. He watched like a predator as she came closer and waiting any second now for her snap. When Sakura was a few feet away with no sign of combative movement, his mind buzzed with scenarios. Eventually, he replied, "It's decent."

She arched an eyebrow wordlessly. 'Decent' would be something she would describe a boring meal. 'Decent' wasn't a word she'd describe his captivation the past half hour. She had been there for a few moments, feeling for his chakra. It must have been a particularly good scene, because it had been several minutes before he noticed she was around. She wondered what part of the story he was in that led him so deep into thought. A sex scene, perhaps?

"Then we can resume," she said politely, her body moving back to her battle stance. Kakashi remained tense and echoed her stance with a hunched, predatory posture. He still wasn't sure why she was being so calm after her brutality a few hours before. As she closed the gap between them, Kakashi prepared as she recoiled her fist. She sent it splintering the trunk beside him. He had long leapt out of the way. He came up from behind her with his elbow coming down, striking her truly with strength, leaving her both taken aback and excited. She twisted around and slammed her fist into the earth as she went down, creating tremors and rock to burst upward in fragmented pillars. The impact hit him as the shaking earth brought him down, carrying him with a series of strikes as the crack continued to yawn open the earth with rock. Although winded from his punch, she pounced to him with the same recoil of her fist. This time directed at his stomach, and with far deadlier velocity stored within. His eye widened, and immediately did his earth style mud wall, slowing her advance. It shattered and she was still coming. He lifted himself up, performing several hand signals and blowing as hard as he could to fall her lithe body back. It worked – the wind was unexpected, and it swirled over her feet and blew her down. His hands moved hastily for a fireball jutsu as she rose up swiftly. He only had seconds before she'd be on him again.

As his hands flew, something in the back of his head itched. Something was –

"Gotcha," her voice from behind softly said. He felt her grab a hold of his leg, back and then up. He turned halfway through the jutsu and swiped at her with his hand, landing the blow on her chest and – she disappeared. He felt something on his person shuffle, and he spun back around to find that there was another Sakura. She had used the clone jutsu before showing up and he was being distracted as the real one was making a coordinated ploy.

Before he could take hold of the Sakura who had snuck up on him, the one that he had landed a hit moved towards him like a human grenade launcher. They engaged in an intense hand-to-hand combat. He landed several blows on her, but she still persisted through like an unyielding hurricane. He skipped away from her, performing several hand signs, and blowing a fireball that scorched the earth where she stood. He even started to use his lightning style, combating her with electrifying hits with each tap. Another upward kick was stopped by his hand, and he threw his own at her unexposed side. This time he was not holding back and caused Sakura's body to fly. This one didn't react like she usually did, either. It flew, only to dissipate into smoke into the trees.

Another clone, but he knew that.

Two clones and still didn't get near his face. The third was at large and certainly the real Sakura. He seemed unimpressed she had ignored her whole objective. He surveyed his surroundings, trying to sense if she was still playing her cat and mouse game. He couldn't sense anything. Did she run temporarily to try to get the jump on him again?

Kakashi did feel a little winded from the spar, and figured that it was best to find another hiding spot and let her chase. As he adjusted his cloak, double checked all his kunai and weapons were still intact, his wallet, some other incidentals, and smoothed over the pouch behind him to check for his book. His eye dilated. It was empty.

Huh?

He felt it again and the bag was, indeed, empty.

Did he drop it? Did he somehow not button it securely in? He looked around and about. There were hundreds of footsteps, shattered rock, scorched ground, splintered wood, but no book. His mind rattled on the exchanges that they had – when could it have dropped? It wasn't where he had been reading. It wasn't where she had knocked him around a few times. His air jutsu might have blown it over a few feet around, but there was no trail to say that such a thing even happened.

Kakashi was confused, but only for a few seconds.

_Well? Is it a good book?_

No, she didn't. She couldn't. Did she?

He felt for the book again. He didn't even remember what page he was on.

Kakashi decided with quick deduction that yes, Sakura Haruno had stolen his adult romance novel. A 16-year-old girl was off in the forest with a fine piece of X-rated material. He had once wondered what would happen when Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura grew up and were able to understand the content of the Makeout Paradise Series. In his assumptions, he knew his reaction would be stoic as usual, unaffected. Theirs widely ranged from groans, to comical disgust, to full blown seen differently. While Kakashi was not one to be bothered by other's opinions, he seemed particularly sensitive to his students seeing him differently than the stoic, level-headed sensei. The truth was, deep down inside, there was a queasiness about them knowing his vulnerability. The sex scenes were easy to play off humorously. It was the deep loving dialogue that followed before and after those steamy scenes that made him feel bare.

He needed to get it back. Now. He was not prepared for that day to be today.

It was hard enough hiding a hard erection in these ninja pants. The thought of Sakura discovering he was a few minutes away from one before her siege would leave things very awkward. He looked at the footprints that laid about. By observation and process of elimination, he had found the trail that had been the real Sakura. Her landing had left a foot trail that went back to where she came. He followed it all the way until it disappeared up into the trees. He lifted his hi-tate momentarily, activating the Sharingan, to find chakra signatures. Once he pinpointed, he lowered it back again, pulled a scroll out of his pants, and slung it out in front of him.

He sliced his thumb on a kunai, cast it on the paper, and whispered, "Summon, fanged pursuit."

It was one thing to demask him, it was another thing to touch his book.

* * *

It was Pakkun who had found her first. She was back at the meadow and in plain sight. Pakkun had waddled over her and, while her scent was Sakura, she did not look like Sakura that Pakkun knew.

She was sitting at the tree, the sun hovering over the horizon, bathing in the last warm rays of its reign. She had shed her red jacket and looked comfortable in the puffy jounin vest. Her hair was long and put in a messy ponytail, pooling over her shoulders and laying rest on her stomach. Long eyelashes flicked back and forth over the book in her hands. She had been reading for a while before the rest of the ninken caught up with the pug. Once they signaled her location, Kakashi came in a flurry of leaves in his teleportion jutsu. He was on guard to find an insolent 16 year old who had stolen his property. He had expected pranks from Naruto of this caliber. Sakura's disrespect seemed both odd and worrisome. He prepared a teacher's scowl and reprimand but when he found himself approaching a grown woman, both responses seemed inappropriate.

Her facial structure was similar to Sakura but distinctively different. A 29-year-old woman was holding a book he had been reading, and she looked at him with recognition. He wasn't sure who he was looking at.

Was this a genjutsu? Was she doing a genjutsu to distract him running off with his book? She was pulling all the ridiculous stops to slip his mask off, wasn't she?

"This Felix really is an emotionally restrained guy," the pink haired stranger said. Her voice was deeper, older, but still familiar. Kakashi didn't say anything.

"Aloisia has a lot of patience for him. They're going on this date, and he has to be escorted by his team members to meet her at this amphitheater, all set up for him. He seems to want it, but he's fighting every step of the way. Why? And," she realized what she was doing, and then brought her hand near her chest, "ah, oh no, I'm spoiling it for you."

Kakashi still said nothing. He was still as winter with a steel eye remaining fixated on her form. His battle senses were raging and told him not to relax. Her peaceful demeanor still set alarms in his head. He remained tense and ready for another surprise. Perhaps, Sakura was playing a mind game. She created a stranger that seemed vaguely to her likeness with his book to distract him, and it was so far working well. The entire situation was tying his thoughts into knots. His mind plucked details that could help him differentiate between illusion and reality. They combed through every visual difference with scrutiny. His instinct went over every feeling he felt with cautious introspection. He was convinced this was an illusion.

She stood up, and then that's when Kakashi knew. How she moved, how she breathed, the vibrations all around her. This wasn't a genjutsu. This was real, she was real. She slowly walked over to him and offered the book to him. "It's pretty romantic. Even tasteful. Was Makeout Paradise that tasteful? Knowing Jiraiya, I can't imagine him writing like that."

His eyes widened, and he broke his silence. "Sakura."

"Yes," she answered, intelligent green connected in eye contact with his solitary one. She smiled the same smile she always had – since she was 12, since she was 16, and now, at 29. He wasn't sure why he hadn't guessed it at first. The likeness now seemed way too uncanny, way too accurate. Maybe, he just protected his mind from seeing her this way. "Surprise."

"Sakura, what is—"

"You know what I wonder? What it would be like to have a romance with an Uchiha, with the Sharingan and all. How would the Eye of Hypnotism and Insight work? I bet it would be wild. I wonder if the Eye of Hypnotism could bring out feelings out of someone?"

Kakashi started again, "Sakura, this jutsu, is this the forbidden jutsu? Is this Tsunade's jutsu?" He couldn't muster his teacher voice. For the first time with her, he wasn't the only adult in the situation. He knew deep down the Sakura he knew was before him, but it was hard to get past with the woman his age looking right at him. He felt things, and he didn't exactly have the time to sort out what they meant. He wasn't sure if he was looking at a violation of forbidden jutsu, a joke, or something even more complicated in himself.

"Is that something you've done before, Kakashi? I'm sure you've done seduction missions. Have you ever pulled out the Sharingan and seen what it could do? There were some people that said that they could, well…" she trailed off and stopped the topic cold, as if she had gotten shy what she was going to say next. "They better hurry with one. With the Uchiha being near extinction. If they're going to go for Sasuke for research, they're going to be disappointed." She smiled dryly, moving closer to Kakashi until she was merely inches away from him.

"Sakura, that's, that's not something we should get into right now," Kakashi could only gather up as a response. He didn't know what to say. Even with his brilliant mind, he felt scattered. He felt disarmed. "The jutsu, is this Tsunade's?"

"The one and only," Sakura answered, the easy smile of hers relaxed and receptive. She took his hand, which he flinched at her touch. She had placed his book in his hand because he still hadn't accepted her offer. His fingers slowly clasped it, and she moved away. But not far enough for Kakashi to gather his thoughts properly. "If you ever find one about an Uchiha, I'm an interested party."

"This is… great work, Sakura. This jutsu must have been pretty hard to master," Kakashi tried to formulate words. She was very close. He couldn't remember the last time a woman he intimately knew was this close. This is Sakura, he reminded himself. This is Sakura. This is Sakura with a well-developed woman's body. But still Sakura. Sakura, the 12 year old you were teaching a few years back.

"I wouldn't call it mastering," her voice had a melodic tone to it, and she remained locked in his eye. He stepped back unconsciously, trying to create space from her. She moved forward as he kept moving back. "There's some things I'm still working out with it. But, seems to work fine, for now."

The sun was disappearing behind the mountains and shadows shaded the clearing. The temperature was dropping rapidly but Kakashi felt as if he was on fire. Kakashi's ninken around him watched in silence as their master kept retreating step by tiny step. He had his book. The training was clearly done. Neither of them had engaged in sparring in twenty minutes. He had every reason to go home. Why was he here? Why was he enduring this? He could teleport out. Yes, that's what he was going to do. He didn't need to think of responses or dialogue. He just needed to state training was over for the day and be on his way.

"You did well," he scraped some iota of calmness in his voice. He buried the nervousness underneath professionalism. Sakura was tilting her head, the ponytail that rested at her shoulder swayed. She could swear she was hearing a stutter. "A few more rounds and you should be back in the rhythm of being out on the field."

She moved closer. Why is she moving closer? He stepped back. This was a good time to tell her that they should be heading out for dinner, and good night.

"Thank you, I have a patient sparring partner."

Silence passed between them. The closeness created a nervousness that Kakashi was spending too much energy controlling. He was an adult man, and he was acting childishly. He demanded that his words come out to say good night, but they never came.

"Kakashi," she said softly, the smile of hers never leaving. He watched how she smiled at him and he wondered if she had ever smiled at him like that before. How she said his name so softly, like the fall of a snowflake. It felt warm, inviting, frighteningly dear. As he moved away from her to make a teleportation jutsu, he found himself so nervous, he nearly tripped over Shiba. In the seconds he steadied himself and looked up, Sakura was right on him. She was not as tall as him, barely a 5'4" to his 5'11", but it did not stop her. She reached up and Kakashi's eye went wider than it had in a long time.

There was contact on his mask, and his mind shot at the speed of light. The time slowed, and the law of entropy began its chaotic breakdown of his senses. He could feel her skin against the fabric, opening against where his lips were. His parted slightly not to return the kiss, but out of sheer shock. It was then that Sakura heard a sound that she never heard Kakashi make in a long time – a shortness of breath. His face full of wildfire, glowing red even at his ears, and his hands and arms reacted before his brain could process their faces had connected. He had pulled her off immediately, thrusting her forward as if she had committed a heinous crime.

"Oh, I," she laughed nervously, having been used to rejection like this before. The force of his push surprised her. It was as if she had attempted to stab him. She had anticipated some bad reactions but this one was not one of them. He was older than her, so she figured the worst he would have done is laugh at her attempt. Balking her like this was felt foreign from the calm and collected Kakashi Hatake. Sasuke had been good training for rejection, but she was not prepared for the intense jerk that Kakashi had. "Guess you're not into it. I get it."

Kakashi was flustered but night kept his pride in tact. He desperately tried to regain his calm, find proper words. A joke, even, to put emotional and physical distance between them. He closed his eye in that familiar crinkle, and gathered the discipline to steady his voice. "You are a great student, Sakura. You've grown a great deal under Tsunade. The jutsu you've refined with your chakra is exceptional. It feels very real. I can only imagine that your medical skills put this one to shame." He was composed, and his nervous jerks before could be easily construed as surprised, but gentle dismissal. Kakashi's emotions were mixed now – he was trying to think of anything that wasn't about almost kissing his student. His student – he reaffirmed the word. His entire mind was a mess but he wasn't going to act it. "I'm proud of you. This certainly was a surprise and you got me."

"Yeah, glad you like it," she said casually, walling herself from feeling the rejection. It stung, how he seemed unaffected by her appearance or her bold advance. The only surprise she got out of him was that she managed Tsunade's signature jutsu – or so she thought. He had not reacted to her in a way that was conflicted with desires and confusion. He was fooling her perfectly. "Definitely got you with this one."

Kakashi gave a nervous chuckle and nodded. "Game's over for the day?"

"Game is over for the day," Sakura repeated. "Guess Sukea will have to be another time."

Kakashi refused to open his eye because if he did, his revelation of what she intended with Sukea would have roused another reaction. He kept it at its traditional crinkle, even though the smile he had under his mask was rehearsed. She waved to him, grabbing her red jacket, and utilized a teleport jutsu to leave the field.

Kakashi stood in moonlit grass, opening his eye to its usual half-lidded look. His heart was running a marathon in his chest. He had touched the wet spot that was on his mask, right on his lips. Did she kiss him? Did Sakura kiss him? He felt the wet again, and his mind made acrobatic stunts to justify anything else but Sakura kissing him.

Some melted snow fell there. His tongue may have come out. Maybe sweat. It could be anything but Sakura's soft, wet lips.

"Boss," Pakkun had started, breaking the silence of the ninken, "You doing okay?"

"Y-yeah," he managed. Then cleared his throat. "Just surprised. Nothing to be seen here."

Pakkun nodded, unconvinced. The ninken seemed to reflect the same mood. "Uh huh."

"Let's head home."

* * *

The following week after, Kakashi turned the kiss in his mind. It followed him everywhere and lurked in his thoughts like a fever dream. When at the grocery store picking out produce, wet droplets against his skin reminded him of the melting snow. He analyzed her eyes and how she had looked at him, how she moved towards him without fear. As he stood in line for the cashier, his mind focused on the smooth colors of nightly blue on her pale skin, on her lips, and how soft she spoke. How her sense of vulnerability was as open and pristine as the moon bathed meadow. How different she was from what he was used to. Was this the Sakura Sasuke got to see? Before he knew it, he was carrying groceries in the snow thinking about how soft her pink hair had looked across her shoulder.

It played in his thoughts even during boisterous events. Gai insisted they build the most magnificent snowman together and Kakashi went along with it in a daze. Gai had clustered enough snow to make an entire army of snow sculptures. He rambunctiously started making a snow Hokage, and required Kakashi's skills to help him build the gargantuan piece. Gai chattered wildly as Kakashi listened, absolutely disconnected to his reality.

Did Sakura have any other interests other than Sasuke? How come he never noticed it before? Naruto clearly loved her. Hinata was obvious. Ino was obvious. Kiba was obvious. Asuma was obvious. Kurenai was obvious. Many of them, obvious. Sakura, was a blank.

Kakashi used his discipline to stop thinking about it for a moment to land a gigantic sharpened log on a large snow face. It wasn't a mountain carving, but it was something – a 8 foot three-tiered snowbeing with a log for a nose and gigantic boulders for a smile and eyes. Then a lightning thought shocked him. _Was he her first kiss?_

It followed him at work. When Tsunade started to schedule his missions around his holiday, he wondered what she was doing that day. As Tsunade went through the paperwork with him, her finger dancing on the page in lines of sentences, Kakashi got lost on the feeling of her soft lips. He had thought about it all so much, he was slowly warming up to imagining other scenarios. He wondered if he had returned it and let it go further. Maybe she would have answered any of these questions that had been haunting in his head for the past month. He wondered where she was now, and if he could bump into her somehow.

Then there were the worse curiosities: what did she taste like, how did she feel against his bare skin, what was she thinking when she said his name like that, so softly, so tenderly.

Tsunade was showing photos and maps now. She kept going with her description of the spying mission. Kakashi nodded and had perfected his act of paying attention. He remained an impeccable soldier and ninja; he had not broken out of character. Even though his mind was a tangle of these thoughts, he remained just as relaxed and put together as always. He had been used to compartmentalizing his emotions. The series of horrific traumas that was his life gave him plenty of practice to do that.

The Fifth Hokage had rolled up the maps and was now saying something else about objectives. Kakashi made a mention that the objectives may have overlapping conflicting interest, and she started to elucidate the avoidance of it.

Sakura had made it clear she was not a child anymore, and that had changed absolutely everything for Kakashi Hatake.

At last, his boss and superior had finished her briefing and handed him the contract. He signed. The days flew by and he kept thinking about that kiss. The missions came and went, and in small, quiet moments, he found himself daydreaming. When he got placed in squadrons for his missions, he often found himself wishing she was with him.

And it was reliving the kiss that, for many nights since, was preferred over Makeout Paradise or Blackout. In his more honest fantasies, the kiss deepened, and something would stir in his chest for the first time in over a decade.

As the winter months exploded in light and festivities, Kakashi's imagination grew bolder and entertained the idea. When the snow melted, and spring was drawing near, Kakashi became open to seeing and touching her. On a muggy, spring evening, his thoughts intermixed scenes of Blackout with himself and Sakura. He found himself wanting. In the quiet of the rain he came to the decision. If the time was right and the reasons good enough, if she brought it up again or initiated, he knew this time, he would allow it. The longing in his heart stirred as if it were alive, and for once, Kakashi was content such a thing existed in him.


End file.
